Saturday, September 13, 2008

i dont know if you'll get the hint to sign in to my acct to read this post.
there's something i'll like to say to you.


i apologise for just walking away from you.
i didnt know what to say to you. just totally lost for words.
im sure you know this is not the first time that im feeling so disappointed.
not disappointed in you, but the way things turn out.
like i was always expecting something but it didnt turn out the way i expected it to be?
maybe i expected too much, or maybe im just too naive.
to actually think that things will always turn out the way i wanted it to be.
you always say that im silly, ahhas. yup, i think its true.
i cried, because i feel helpless, because i dont know what to do to make me feel better.
to make things better for us. but i think there's nth i can do.

as much as i wanted to be a understanding and good gf.
but there's a certain limit to my tolerance and the amount of disappoints that i can take.
ever since we got together, the reason why we're able to meet each other so often
its because you had your holidays, and i had exams so i was dismissed earlier.
which happens on weekdays, but have you thought, after my exams, after your holidays.
the only day that we'll be able to see each other will only be on saturdays?
ONLY SATURDAY. not even 24 hours, maybe like 6? the most 8.
and these hours that im seeing you, you're having your trainging.
so we cant really be like normal couples, going shopping, watching movies etc etc
the most pathetic thing is, we cant even spend more then 10 mins alone together.
so if you really calculate, within these 8 hours, the time we spend tgt, is actually less the an hour?
when we go out for small talks with the team, and the time waiting for the match to start.
i know its all not within our control, and there's nothing that we can do.
im just trying to let u understand how i feel.
AND PLEASE, AND NOT ASKING YOU TO LEAVE THE TEAM AND QUIT CS TO MAKE TIME FOR ME.
dont misunderstand my words. i dont want to create any conflicts with any of your teammates.

there's still alot for me to say, but i dont wanna make things worst.
so i'll just keep it to myself. you may think that im petty or whatever shit.
but all i want is do just spend my weekends with my bf, with O's coming
there will be lesser time for us to be together.
i need time baby, to adapt to this relationship. cos you're my first gamer boyfriend.
so, im very not use to my boyfriend being like that. im sorry
it really breaks my heart to see you being sad. and to see you being so lost.
dont try to change for me ok? i want you to be who you are.
not who i want you to be. i'll accept whoever you are
just like you accepting me who i was. thats why we fall for each other right?
so please dont try to change. i love you baby, i really do.

my phone wont be on tonight. so dont bother calling.
i love you baby.

this is for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uypZ9aSkW-g