Friday, January 1, 2010
♥ :)
zirca ytd night. in fact we suppose to go butter factory but too packed. hmm now things are getting clearer for me. i dont know why i think i understand alot of things now. things between us are just friends for now. although we have a very strong potential of love hiding somewhere, we will not open them up only after 3 years hmm. our love is definitely far greater than any thing for now. but we were just tired of each other that things fall apart. i dont wanna curse or say what's going to happen to ur life. my guess would be getting tired of her then u gonna change. i will not bother u much now. u can live your life freely. im trying to change and forget u for while. maybe if we were meant to be we will be back. if not there goes everything. you go your way i go my way. i need time though, so you;re gonna help me with getting thru all this. :) im gonna get a different life. club has no interest for me sad. except looking at girls. things are getting bored. maybe you're still young. i wanan explore more than just this. but i know i cannot carry u with me. im prolly gonna do this myself and hopefully when we are back i wont regret what i did in life. same to you. i realise i cant just hang on to all my naive thoughts. i need to get back to reality. i know after such serious thoughts, im nvr gonna regret. i dont know about things for u. but you can just be like this for the next few months. i can be ur greatest friend, at any point of time, u feel tired to walk on, ring me, u know i'll be there :) i dont know what u might be always telling your friends. like i might be a stalker,irritating,Mr parrot? for the past few days, i had to constantly think of why u might just lose feel for me and gona the other way.maybe you're just too tired of me. i made a mistake, you might be the mistake or not. i wont be treating any other people as good as u. feel that honour now :) but also u let me utd many things, i cherish this love, i nvr regretted meeting u. it felt good to be able to fall and trying to stand up again. but like u said we dont know the road for now. nothing can be confirm and i dont wanna hang on like a fool and find myself alone after 3 years. unless of course u tell me now we can be back definitely after 3years i dont mind trusting u for the last time although it may feel stupid but i would really wanna believe in you again. your love for her now is definitely at the extreme. path for u is only 2 choices now. u either hang on with her for very long or soon enough all this will be over and then u will be crying to me. u might read this and tell yourself not. but why let ur pride affect ur life? call me when you;re down, dont feel embarrassed when things go the wrong way or u made the wrong choice, u should know me well enough that im not some other guy out there u can find. if u let down your pride, we could be planning our honeymoon now :) you were nvr a les. u need to start trusting me. i do things that u can almost make sure im not any other guy u will find out there. my frens all dont know what i've done for u, if they do, im sure like a hella joke to them. ok enough of me because i dont wan u to start laughing or think that why im so arrogant. im just a guy and whatever u can judge me as :) u know here i am sitting here. u are still sleeping and im damn bored. although i know u are gonna sleep to 3-4+ because u always nvr get to sleep well. i hope u wil take care yourself even though it's not me anymore. im gonna be honest, i tried smoking ytd. the real puff that goes inside. lol icy cool but sorry no i totally dislike that kind of feeling. i drank but i didnt get drunk ytd. club is boring. i see drunk girls hugging around, drunk girls unable to stand at dance floor and guys start groping them. how retarded a place is. maybe if coming club with u is fun. :) at least i get to hug a girl, my fav girl and start grinding. things might go high but we know what we cannot do :) i dont think im going club anymore. waste of money and sleep. ytd i found out that there are too many things that we do that will get us reminded. smart of u to be always hanging at amk and tampines because we dont do much things there. that;s damn holy shit ! haha. i went pass peace centre, the same old airline stewardess, totally scam. then i got reminded shit baby wasnt here. :/ so many things i see both of us in many couples but i know things cannot go back anymore. i dont know the choice i made by letting u go is correct or not. but no matter waht, i alr made and i cannot regret. u might have the best days of ur life for 2010 and my worse days of my life. all this has alr been figured out that it's just ups and downs of life. ok holy shit i typed to here and i went to shit, so if there are things missing out then haha forget it alr. anyway so ya i figured out that why i always write journal u still dont tell me every single thing then i finally know that maybe is because they are all emo post and u got nothing to tell me about. maybe this time u might be talking more to me about our lifes :) or at least i hope so. i enjoy serious talks with u. at least i get to know more things. yeah maybe it's because of curiosity. so here now im i wanna apologise for causing so many stress and trouble to u that u dont even know how to handle a useless joke like me. but is ok, today on, things will stop. we will slowly cut contact. soon enough after months things will be better for me :D i wanna apologise that i almost turn our love to hatred, well i know i didnt go to that extend and i know u do love me at least a bit, but i dont know if u will still think of me at times haha :) so and 1 more thing. give some serious thoughts on pride. u know u can always let down ur pride for somethings u really appreciate and wont regret. :) i know it's hard for u but u do it sometimes and im proud of u! well for now i seriously gonna try everything except for drugs. smoking alr tried and it sucks. you better take care love. although this seems like a goodbye letter but it's not i know u will soon wake up and we will start conversing on msn again. but soon enough i need to let u go :) i love u baby, our love is hidden somewhere far and it only comes back if we both wants to get it back :) not a one sided thing. go enjoy your life out there angel tan. same for me. hopefully things get better for us. dont cry anymore :) no more stress and sad nights, only loving night for u.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
1:40 PM
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1:40 PM
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